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The Key Step To Living The Life of Your Dreams

I thought I was living the life of my dreams. Over the past ten years, I’ve had very awesome opportunities all over the world. In the busy streets of Thailand, I worked with women who were victims of human trafficking. In the extremely violent favelas of Brazil, I helped create community with drug traffickers. In the famous House of the Dying started by Mother Theresa in India, I helped terminal patients who were picked up from the street die with dignity.

In addition to my world travels, I also got involved in non-profit film-making where I had the opportunity to produce, write, edit, and direct films for a good cause working with various celebrities and professional actors, which received millions of views on YouTube.

I thought all of this was what I wanted to do with my life, but I still felt miserable. It took a lot of these cool trips and achievements to realize I still didn’t have a strong sense of fulfillment in my life. I convinced myself my life would have more meaning by trying to find the next big achievement to put under my belt. It was an addiction. I would go out and get inspired only to come home and hit rock-bottom feeling worthless and inadequate. It took so many years of these big highs and lows to finally understand that I’ve been investing my energy in all the wrong things.

I was lacking the most important thing when trying to find true fulfillment in life: authentic connection.

If you aren’t happy now, no achievement will make you happy later. When pursuing your dreams, first cultivate genuine connections with the ones you love. 

This took me so long to realize. I thought I wanted to become financially successful, well-known and respected. These desires which consumed me masked my deeper craving for intimacy I so badly wanted. I wasn’t happy because I didn’t have the level of connection I wanted in my life so I worked hard to accomplish things so others would notice me. I thought if I kept doing cool things to impress cool people, my value as a person would go up another level, but I always still felt like I wasn’t enough. By focusing too much on how to please and impress people, I was actually shutting them out. They only loved the me I was portraying, not the me I really was.

All I wanted was to be truly known and understood, but I was too cowardly to take the necessary steps to be vulnerable.

I’m still trying my best to continually invest in loving relationships and it’s been quite the challenge. It’s very attractive to try to learn about how to find my dream job and pursue my passions without having to address the deeper fear inside of letting myself be known. I had no fear going into some of the most violent and ugly places in the world, but I was terrified when trying to be true to myself without fearing harsh judgement. Turns out the thing I needed the most also involved the greatest risk.

Connection keeps life beautiful, not the accomplishment, so be true to yourself.

Trusting someone to see the real me was the most terrifying yet the most important thing I had to do in my life. The walls I built around myself may have protected me from getting hurt, but it also imprisoned me in my own loneliness. It’s an ongoing process, but I’ve been learning to love and accept myself as I am and being ok with letting others see me for who I am. I haven’t smashed down the walls, but I am taking them down brick by brick.

The featured photo at the top of this page is a statue made for Burning Man this year and it struck me how accurate it was when it came to difficult times in my relationships. The hurtful things we say and do each other pull us apart, but all the inner child in us wants is to connect.

Wouldn’t the world be so much better with more people who tried to connect with each other rather than impress each other? Doing cool things are a lot of fun, but it’s only fulfilling when I have the support and love from sincere relationships with those I hold dear to me.

Maybe today you’ve realized what you’ve been working so hard to achieve actually isn’t what you really wanted. Maybe like me, you need to take a step back and realize the reason you are just stuck in life is not because of what you haven’t accomplished yet, but because of the lack of intimacy in your life. You may need to spend some time understanding the bravest thing you can do is to risk loving people on a daily basis even though you may get hurt because it allows a chance for authentic connection.

So before you go off on your next adventure to fulfill your dreams, make sure you take down the walls in your life and muster up the courage to be yourself. When loving relationships in your life flourish, you find the fulfillment you’ve been looking for the whole time. Your potential begins to unleash and you discover your talents and utilize them in ways you never imagined. The uncertainty in your future becomes an exciting adventure rather than an anxiety-filled burden. You’ll find happiness now rather than being too busy chasing after it.

Cheers to keeping life beautiful.

Eugene Choi

Eugene is a writer, filmmaker and a pharmacist, but is a change-maker at heart. He's realized the deep underlying reason for any of the world's problems come from a lack of human connectedness. He is committed to empowering individuals by unleashing their talent and cultivating healing to demolish the internal walls which keep us from building genuine loving relationships .

6 Comments

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  • Josh Stoeltzing on Jan 02, 2016 Reply

    Awesome post! I like the bolder print in the text and the article was well written!!!

  • Joanna on Dec 30, 2015 Reply

    thank you for posting such an honest and open article. I totally relate and wonder whether I pursue challenges not to impress others so much as to impress myself and silence the inner critic. At the same time I feel humans expand as we go through life, and curiosity and challenge are really stimulating and provide opportunities for creativity and growth. The truth is probably both!

  • Tess on Dec 30, 2015 Reply

    Excellent article! Your final paragraph is very insightful and I totally agree. “…muster up the courage to be yourself. When loving relationships in your life flourish, you find the fulfillment you’ve been looking for the whole time. Your potential begins to unleash and you discover your talents and utilize them in ways you never imagined.” If we all lived our lives connecting with each other, the world would be a happier place. :)

  • Teresa on Dec 16, 2015 Reply

    Very nice article!

  • AlbaLnz on Dec 16, 2015 Reply

    This is a great article. I really like the main message you are sending with this. Relationships are so important and necessary for our personal growth. I would love to include this article in my newsletter if that is okay. I don’t have a really large audience, but I would love to share it with them =)

    • Eugene Choi on Dec 16, 2015 Reply

      Thank you so much for the kind words and encouragement! And yeah! Feel free to share! Thanks for the consideration

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